As I was telling my flatmate this I suddenly made a connection that was so sudden and forceful that I couldn’t talk or breathe.
For years I'd been having dreams about what I've always called “The Man and The Feeling”.
I've written about them often.
Sometimes The Man would be sitting opposite me while I sobbed out my latest insecurity. Listening with an acceptance and love that I could still feel a week later.
In other dreams he'd wrap his arms around me from behind, enfolding me with safety and oneness.
The connection I made on that grey day in Johnsonville, was that The Feeling in the dreams was the same feeling I'd had with that boy, when we were both 9, and the rest of the world didn’t exist.